Academy for GOD Preschool: Discipline in Early Childhood - Part 3, with Amanda Davis

Written by:

Olivia Beaverson

Academy for GOD Preschool Instructor

This week, I got to sit with Amanda Davis, Academy for GOD Preschool’s Lead Educator, and pick her brain on discipline. She shared her understanding of discipline, why and when it is needed, and helpful, developmentally appropriate tools for preschool age children. My conversation with her encouraged me, and I hope that it helps start more conversations with your family, friends and teachers of your children about discipline and how to utilize it constructively.

How would you define discipline, and when do you use it?

“As a way to direct a child in the right direction. Obviously, there is a correction element, but it’s not just correction, it’s correction coupled with teaching. Sometimes people can discipline by saying ‘Don’t do that! You shouldn’t do that!’, but they don’t educate or bring about encouragement or a belief in the child. That's what can be detrimental with corrections – if it's not done the correct way.”

Over the years of working with children, how has your understanding of discipline changed?

“Something I've learned, and I think it's one of the bigger things: It's more than disciplining just in the moment after something has happened . . . you have to have positive reinforcement. I did it just this week with a child, and encouraged that positive thing I'm seeing in them, or seeing in their classmates, saying like, “Man, I'm so proud of you all.”

“A lot of the positives help mitigate the amount of discipline you have to use, because then children know what to expect and what makes their teachers and parents proud. I think positive reinforcement is such a massive tool. Sometimes it takes more energy, so I think it is not utilized as much as it could be. For me, that's one of the bigger things. I mean, obviously, disciplines change over the years. But as far as tools go, I think that's a massive one that we have to keep getting better and better at.”

My Response

I remember that was one of the first things I learned from you. Also was in the classroom, even though, like, even just when it comes down to how you phrase things, instead of saying, “don't run in the classroom,” encourage, saying, “Use your walking feet.” Like, just even changing the way that you frame things to what you expect, right?

Amanda’s Response

“Using ‘don’t-s’ is fine. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but you have to make sure they know what they do need to be doing. Like if you just say “Don't do that,” well . . . a kid doesn't know what to do then. You can even phrase things in a way that it would include what behavior you're expecting.

These are the biggest things I've learned would be modeling. Model. Model. Model. Everything you'll see within classroom management is the model. If you want your children to be kind, you have to be kind. You want your kids to be patient, we have to display patience. If you want them to encourage one another, we have to encourage. I think that we've even seen that in PreK this year, right? How many encouragers do we have? So many. And I think that's because even you and I, we encourage them a lot. That helps them to take on that attribute, modeling the kind of behavior that we want to see.”

How has your Biblical education helped you make considerations regarding discipline?

“I mean, I think that we see that God corrects us, and He corrects those who he loves.

I think sometimes people's personalities can be more timid in wanting to correct and bring about that type of discipline. But knowing that God does it for Israel, for the Prophets . . . it’s not even just children. I mean, as adults we have to be accountable to life and the expectations of God. So I think just knowing that, learning that it's (discipline) a good thing. I think as we even get older as adults, it can be tricky, because we can be less receptive, less sensitive to God's Spirit in that way so we have to be careful, asking the Lord to check us.”

My Response

I do love that point, because it is really cool to see what we're all passionate about is trying to set a solid foundation for the kids that we teach to grow into good adults that continue learning the rest of their lives. I love that concept, and thinking about discipline in that way, that discipline isn't just something for kids, it's for adults. There's always room for us to continue to grow and to receive discipline from the Lord. And I think given the ways that you've shared so far, like having positive reinforcement and coupling discipline with teaching and education, those things are all what help set up a good foundation for a kid to be able to receive discipline and correction.

Now when it comes to students where those typical steps are not seeming effective, what could you recommend?

“That might be when you look into more professional things. If the typical things aren't working, then we need more tools from other professionals.That's what we suggested with students before, and I think that it's slowly helping. There's so many things related to a child’s behavior, like with diet, environmental toxins, so many things that can affect a child's behavior. There are professional options though, like occupational therapy for behavior, seeking out a pediatrician if there's diet or environmental related things. We want to get to the root of the issues.”

What are some common strategies that you think parents use, or even just have heard of that are not developmentally appropriate for early childhood?

“I mean, you know, you give a discipline and you stick to it. Empty threats are so unhelpful. Reward systems are also tricky. It depends on the age, but like, if you try to do a reward system for a whole week, at this age, their concept of time is not very clear. Now that just differs with each kid. There have been kids this works well with and kids it does not. If you are saying there will be a reward at the end of the week but they are expecting it when they get picked up that day, then they're not developmentally ready for that. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, it just depends. There are probably different opinions out there on if reward systems are good or bad. I don't think they should be used long term. You know, constantly living life where you have to get rewards for behavior isn’t helpful.

Closing Thoughts

I do hope that this conversation helped to start thinking through discipline practices you are using and/or want to implement. I appreciated this conversation with Amanda so much because it helped me to step back and remember the goal we are all working towards as educators and parents, to build up our kids into men and women who love God with everything. That process is tiring though. As Preschool teachers, we know how harrowing early childhood can be and the challenges that come with implementing discipline. I sincerely pray this conversation provokes us all to evaluate how we are using our energies and taking time to use discipline in a way that is constructive, even if it does require more from us. We are in this with you and praying that we “don’t grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9)